It’s interesting to look back and see how teenager-ey my perspective was a few days ago.
*whispers* settle in for a confusing & bumpy ride my friend.
I have done exactly what the song “Let’s Take the Leap” says not to. I gave in to doubt. I doubted whether moving here was the right thing to do and whether I had Jehovah’s backing. For a few days, I was convinced that if I were to move back to America everything would be better than how it is in this dreadful country!
Hence our topic for today: Taking the Leap and trusting in Jehovah.
While I entirely hate the process of growing up and maturing I am appreciative of the lessons I am learning along the way. Too bad I’m learning them the old-fashioned way. Meaning someone tells me my shoe is untied, I ignore them because well I know everything. Commence taking a step &… 1, 2, 3, KABLAMO!!!! I fall flat on my face, only to look down and realize my shoelace is in fact, UNTIED.
Emma, you’re rambling, please get to the point.
I realize many of the friends share the sunny sides up & rainbows side of moving to serve where the need is great. But I think it’s better that you really understand what exactly are you getting into. * I want you to whine like you’re a teenage girl & Daddy just said you’re only allowed to have one of his credit cards* ITS HAAARD.
This whole adventure has been difficult so I’ve been wanting to move back to America. Because well I didn’t know it was going to be difficult!! I have yet to obtain a job or figure out a way to go out regularly in service and be actually effective. To be getting the same results I got in the US. But I can’t because I’m not yet able to talk about Jehovah in Germany or Farsi.
Those are the two main things but as a pioneer at heart, those are two very BIG things… kind of my whole life we’re talking about here!
But now I see it’s the good kind of hard.
This week’s Watchtower was exactly what I needed to hear. The account of Hannah “lending” Samuel to Jehovah really helped put things into perspective for me.
It’s not easy to give up a child, even if it’s for God’s service. But after you’ve gotten through it, you’ll be able to look back like Hannah and say “Although it was at first hard to expand my service, I can say that I have no other cause for joy than knowing that I was able to serve Jehovah in this way.”
Realistically, at first, you feel really out of place, awkward and just not at all comfortable. Or at least I did.
But if you wait, and give Jehovah a chance to work things out you’ll be surprised.
Now I’m still in limbo as I write this. Today was officially 1 month 3 weeks since moving here and I’m still in the process of getting my visa. Which means I have 1 month & 1 week to either get it or get out.
I have no doubt that it’s going to work out. Whether I end up staying in Germany or not… That’s the great thing about serving Jehovah, its a portable privilege… you can do it anywhere.
Philippians 4:7, man that’s a doozy. You really will test your faith in Jehovah and get to taste and see that Jehovah is good. Most people in my position, logically, would be contemplating selling an organ & greasing an officials palms to have a source of income and a possibility to get a visa.
Yet, I now find it funny, and wonderful in its own peculiar way, that every time I press play for the original songs on my phone it automatically plays “Let’s Take the Leap”
“We’ll go in faith,
not looking back, not behind.
Lets move ahead with peace of mind.
So lets go through this open door
The things behind will be replaced with much more…
the life to come forever more.
Let’s take the leap,
lets not give in to doubt,
lets not miss out!
We’ll go in faith.
Lets move ahead with peace of mind!”
As these words bounce around my room and settle around me, in retrospect, I am able to see how these words have rung true.
I have a peace of mind that although the results may not be quick as I imagined since my efforts are for Jehovah, so it’ll all work out. And like a little girl said, “Faith means trusting in God and asking no questions.” So do I have questions and feelings of doubt on whether or not I’ll make it? Occasionally yes, I’m imperfect, shoot me. But then I say a prayer to Jehovah take a deep breath (or do a little jig sometimes that helps shake the willies) and give my anxiety to Jehovah. I take it off my shoulders and place it into his warm, loving and understanding hands. You can too.
Hope this helps you, in a REALISTIC sense. Thank you for reading & lots of love always.
P.S. Feel free to contact me, I’m only a button away!